Soldiers Without Guns
by Ladys-Paladin
Summary: Alternate ending to the Poison Sky. The Doctor tries to save the world from the Sontaran threat but finds that even Timelords shouldn't neglect the paperwork.
1. Chapter 1

The Doctor trudged up the metal stairs into the trailer that served as the UNIT field headquarters. The sound of his footsteps changing from a metallic ring to a soft thud accented by the occasional creak as he entered the enclosure.

He sat down heavily in the first available chair. Actually there were a lot of available chairs. He looked around, one enlisted person was busy at a screen, that was it, no one else. The rest must be out mopping up, securing the factory and surrounding areas.

The chair squeaked in protest as he leaned back and put his feet up on the gun metal gray console. He reached inside his suit jacket pocket, feeling the familiar shape of his sonic screwdriver. _"Almost lost that."_ he thought. He aimed it at the large plasma screen mounted close to the ceiling. Cartoons, good. That's about what he felt could handle right now.

He returned the sonic to his pocket and folded his hands behind his head leaning back even further, assuming a posture of relaxation he didn't feel. Sometimes the things he did to save this planet were just reprehensible, if not out and out cruel. He decided to lose himself in the cartoons so he could forget for a bit the choices that had been forced on him.

He was in the middle of a rather strange cartoon about a dog with a pet boy and a time machine that they used to study history when he heard the door open. The Doctor looked up to see a man in an olive drab uniform, and a black cap with red trim. It was Colonel Mace. He took his cap off and put it under his arm as he entered the trailer.

"Doctor what are you doing here? I would have thought you would be out there making sure the threat is neutralized." His tone suggested the Doctor was not taking the current situation seriously enough as usual.

"There's no need. it's all taken care of," the Doctor said with a resigned sigh. "The earth is safe for the moment, Well… for several moments in fact. Actually I don't think you will have to worry about the Sontarans for the rest of your life." He went back to watching his cartoon. The dog and boy had just finished helping Isaac Newton discover the laws of gravity.

"What's this then, a time travel training film? You studying up for a recertification test on TARDIS driving?" Mace asked.

The Doctor studied the soldier whose expression as serious as ever. Had the colonel just told a joke? Though it didn't show on the colonel's face, he had definitely told a joke. Maybe he had underestimated the man. "No, but it's about all I feel I can handle right now. Sit down, this is pretty good actually. If it follows its usual pattern there should be a moose and flying squirrel next."

Colonel Mace eyed him wearily. "Are you sure Doctor? You told me in no uncertain terms you didn't like having people who carried guns anywhere near you."

The Doctor took a deep breath and let it out slowly, he stared at the ceiling briefly before sliding his eyes over to look at the colonel. "I've decided to reconsider my position on that after this afternoon."

"Really?" queried Mace as he took a seat next to the Doctor. "What brought this on?"

The Doctor closed his eyes and slowly shook his head, in the background he could hear the moose ask if there was fan mail from some flounder. "I decided soldiers without guns are much more dangerous than the ones with guns."

"Oh?" Colonel Mace managed to convey in that single syllable both curiosity and concern.

The Doctor opened his eyes and considered the Colonel, feeling a knot in his stomach, unsure of how much he should confess to. "I met Major Hansen," he said dully.

"I see," the colonel nodded sagely. "And how did that go?"

The Doctor brought the heel of his hand up to his forehead and rubbed it grimacing. "A bit surreal actually." He lowered his hand and looked at Mace hopefully. "Any chance we could get some tea in here? I could really do with a spot of tea."

"Certainly Doctor." Colonel Mace gestured to the one enlisted person in the room as he called to him. "Corporal Russert, would you go get some tea for the Doctor and myself."

"Right away Sir," the corporal responded briskly and quickly exited the trailer.

"Now Doctor do you care to elaborate?"

There was no hope for it the Doctor realized. What he had done was going to come out sooner or later and well, he had come here instead of just heading off to the TARDIS. Part of him at least must have felt he needed to tell someone his side of it. Colonel Mace as the commander of a unit had surely have had to make some terrible choices at some point in his career. If anyone would show him some sympathy, it would be him.

While he was considering, the corporal came back with two cups of tea and a pot. He set a small portable table next to the colonel and placed the tea on it. "Thank you Corporal," said Colonel Mace as he handed the Doctor a cup. "You may leave us now. I think we can handle everything here."

Sipping his tea the Doctor heard the door close, indicating he was now alone in the trailer with Mace.

"Well Doctor, are you going to tell me what has you so upset?" Though authoritative the Doctor thought he detected a hint of kindness in the colonel's voice.

The Doctor took another sip of tea. By its color he could tell it should be quite good and strong, but it was flavorless in his mouth. "I wouldn't say I was upset exactly. Just… well… alright... upset is the right word. You will have to excuse me, it has been a very disorienting day."

"I can tell," Mace said. "But come on tell me what happened. How did you get mixed up with Major Hansen and does that have anything to do with the Sontaran threat being neutralized? Take it from an old soldier here, you'll feel better once you get this over with." His voice was still formal and haughty and it would have been a sharp contrast to the promise of comfort in the words if not for that undertone of kindness that was still there.

"You're right, you're right." The Doctor gave a deep sigh. "I need to get this over with." He shook his head as he started to tell the Colonel how his afternoon had gone.

He'd been so proud of himself when the atmospheric converter had ignited the Caesofine gas, clearing its poison out of the sky, rendering the Earth useless for the Sontaran's plans. But there was no time to rest on his laurels. He had to stop the Sontarans from retaliating. Now that their plans for the Earth had been thwarted they would bend their military might to destroying the planet and everything on it, as target practice for their real war with the Rutans.

He was racing back towards the school, carrying the converter, when suddenly out of nowhere a Unit soldier appeared and grabbed him by the arm.

"What's this? Let go of me!" the Doctor protested as he pulled his arm free, only to find his other arm bent up behind his back, the atmospheric converter falling to the ground. "Hey, that's delicate equipment there!"

A second soldier picked it up while a jeep pulled up next to him. A hand was pushing his head down as he was forced into the back seat of the vehicle and the converter dumped into the cargo area with a metallic crash. "No, no, no, no you'd better not have broken it! The survival of the planet depends on it working when I need it and by the way, I need it now!"

His protests were ignored and the door was closed on him as Donna ran up to the vehicle. "Hey, Soldier boy! What you think you're doing? Let him out of there!"

He tried the door hoping Donna could keep them distracted while he made his escape. Locked. No problem, just get out the sonic. He gasped as it was ripped from his hand, stinging it. "Oi, that's private property there, give it back."

"Sorry sir," said the soldier in front of him. "But, you will have to take that up with Major Hansen."

"Let me out of here!" yelled the Doctor as he made a dive for the other door, only to find it blocked by yet another soldier, who had apparently entered the vehicle when he was concentrating on the first door.

He could see Martha standing back, his coat still wrapped around her, appearing unsure as to what she should be doing. Well, a hospital gown and an oversized coat was hardly the attire for action, he couldn't blame her. Luke was nowhere to be seen. Donna started pounding on the windows as the driver put the vehicle in gear.

It went forward with a jerk, slamming the Doctor into his seat and causing Donna to jump back in surprise. She took off her shoe and hurled it at the accelerating jeep. It connected with a dull thud but had no effect on the vehicle's movement as it sped off down the road.


	2. Chapter 2

The Doctor tried to twist around in his seat to look back at his friends, trying to make sure they were alright. The soldier next to him put an arm across his chest forcing him back into the seat. "Sir, if you will just settle down it will be better for all of us."

"It would be better for all of you if you turned around and took me back," declared the Doctor, frustrated at having his plans interrupted by these idiots.

"Sorry sir, we can't do that. You will have to take it up with Major Hansen. We will be there shortly," the soldier said apologetically. All the while keeping his arm across the Doctor's chest.

"Alright, alright, you can relax. I'm not about to jump out of a vehicle going at this speed." The soldier released the Doctor. "What about Colonel Mace? Any chance you could contact him?"

"He's not in our chain of command, sir. You will have to wait and address that with Major Hansen."

The Doctor rubbed his forehead as he cleared his thoughts. It was no use arguing. These were soldiers who had been given their orders and they weren't going to deviate from them no matter how hard he tried to argue his case. Hopefully this Major Hansen would be someone he could reason with. He leaned back and tried to relax.

Relaxing however proved to be a bit difficult. The engine of the jeep was badly out of tune, probably from having its Atmos system unceremoniously ripped out of it. The resultant lack of synchronization of the engine noises grated on the Doctor's nerves. But that was the least of the problems with the transportation. The initial jerk that the Doctor had assumed was because of the urgency of their departure, he now knew was because of apparent inexperience of the driver with the workings of a manual transmission.

He had intended to not use a seat belt so he could attempt a quick escape when the vehicle came to halt. The third time he was jerked either forward or back by a poorly timed release of the clutch convinced him that would not be a wise strategy. He fumbled for his seatbelt as the jeep careened around a corner slamming him into the soldier seated next to him.

"Sorry," said the Doctor as he pushed himself back over to his side of the jeep and quickly fastened his seat belt. "Can I ask why we have the driver we do? Is this some sort of training run for him?"

"No, he was the only one who knew how to drive a manual transmission," came the unexpected response. "Or at least he said he did. Stupid operations, they take all the good equipment for themselves and we are stuck with their castoffs."

The Doctor winced as a new sound emerged from under the vehicle. He was sure several parts of the second gear must have just found their way to the pavement. He looked out the window and saw they were entering the Atmos factory compound. That at least was one piece of good luck.

To his dismay though the vehicle went around to the back of the factory away from Colonel Mace's field headquarters. He had hoped he would be able to attract the attention of one of the Mace's people and get back to ending this crisis. Now it looked like he was going to have to deal with this mysterious Major Hansen whether he wanted to or not.

The jeep came to a jolting halt in front of a small windowless trailer that was on skids. Its entrance was more or less level with the ground. After he undid his seat belt the Doctor tried his door, still locked. A soldier came around to get it for him. As soon as it opened a crack he tried to push his way out and get free of them. The soldier sitting next to him grabbed him by the elbow, squeezing a pressure point and pulling him back into the vehicle.

"Ouch!" he cried. "You don't have to be so rough!"

"Just take it easy sir. You will be able to explain yourself to Major Hansen shortly."

"Explain myself?!" the Doctor cried indignantly. "I think it is he who will be explaining himself! He has no idea who or what he is dealing with!"

The soldier smirked. "Well, you are welcome to tell him. All right out you go now."

The Doctor exited the vehicle and promptly had a soldier attached to each elbow. The driver of the vehicle was carrying the converter into the trailer ahead of him. He sincerely hoped the man's carrying skills were better than his driving skills.

Once inside he was sat down rather roughly in a chair across from a beat up metal desk. He tried to get up, only to be pushed back down into it with firm hands on his shoulders. The chair itself was too short for his frame. Leaving him a choice of either, having his knees almost in his face or stretching his legs out in front of him. He choose the latter option.

The office had dull off white walls and a nondescript gray tile floor. It had gray metal bookshelves, overstuffed with regulatory manuals, instructions and directives. Despite the age of everything it was all immaculately clean. The Doctor looked across the desk to see the atmospheric converter was being studied intently by the man sitting behind it.

"Careful with that, I need it and I don't have the time or parts to make a new one," the Doctor warned.

The man put the converter down on the floor with a definite clank, ignoring the wince the sound produced in the Doctor. He was in a UNIT uniform, but other than that, he did not meet the Doctor's expectation of what a soldier should look like. He was a short bookish man. Balding with some gray/blond hair, like a faint fringe around his ears and the back of his skull. His eyes were brown, almost black behind the thick wire rim glasses that he wore. Lips so thin, his mouth appeared to be almost a slash.

"Well that is precisely what I need to talk to you about," said the man behind the desk. "My name's Major Hansen by the way. Who gave you permission to do an operational pilot?"

"Pardon?" the Doctor was perplexed. He knew what Jack would have meant if he said he had 'done' a pilot. But the Doctor hadn't 'done' anyone, pilot or otherwise. Though why the occupation of the person being 'done' should matter was beyond him. And if he had 'done' a pilot, he failed to see where it was any business of this Major. He also wasn't aware that one needed permission to 'do' someone other than from the person they were 'doing' of course.

"Don't try to deny it. The whole world saw it."

Now the Doctor was truly confused and a bit offended. CCTV was really getting invasive if it was being used to watch people 'doing' each other. He was also dismayed to think there was someone out there who looked like him who was 'doing' people. "I really don't know what you are talking about. I believe you have a case of mistaken identity here. I certainly didn't do any pilot, operational or otherwise."

"Are you trying to deny you didn't use this?" the major pointed to the converter. "And then the entire sky caught fire."

A wave of relief washed over the Doctor. "No, no, I'm not denying that. I most definitely did do that. Sorry I was a bit confused there. It worked a treat don't you think?"

"How can I know that until I see what the thresholds and objectives were for your kpp's. I've been looking everywhere and I can't even find your AoA much less your ICD or CCD."

Confusion again descended on the Doctor. Nothing this man was saying was making any sense and the TARDIS translation circuits were at a loss to help him. He realized he was getting drawn into this man's game and decided to get onto firmer ground. "Look, I don't have time for this. If you don't give that back to me," the Doctor pointed at the converter, "and let me go. Everyone on this planet could die."

"That's what you all say. You don't have time, it has to be fielded now or the world will end," the major's voice whined as he imitated the protests he had apparently heard. "Well, I am here to tell you, nothing is so essential that you don't have time to document it properly before you field it."

The Doctor was getting frustrated. "Look, if you just contact Colonel Mace. He'll tell you…"

"Colonel Mace?!" shouted the major. "He is the worst of the lot of you. He went out and bought unauthorized munitions using his own funds and now the general tells me I have to reimburse him for it. When I tried to explain there was no way to do that legally, the general chewed my ass off and told me to find a way. Now I am stuck having to back date all the paperwork to make it seem like a legal procurement."

"Well, he really did need the munitions and it worked brilliantly," the Doctor explained feeling that maybe Mace deserved a little more credit than he was being given.

"Again, how can we know that? He never submitted what his objectives were in the first place."

"Oh that's easy, it was so he could neutralize the effect of the Cordolaine signal. The ammunition he had before wouldn't work because of the copper."

"Well finally, someone who's actually being helpful and willing to tell me something." The major started entering data into his computer as he continued. "They think just because we don't carry guns we don't have to know what they are doing, but how can I support it and keep it supplied if they don't tell me about it?

"Take this thing of yours." The major picked up the converter and deposited it none to gently down on his desk. The rattling sound it made sickened the Doctor. "How am I supposed to support this? I don't recognize any of the components. How did you even put this together?"

"Look, it doesn't need to be supported. I am the only one who is ever going to use it. But if it helps, I put it together out of some pieces I found lying around." He tried to get out of the chair so he could examine the converter and see if it was beyond repair or not. Again hands on his shoulders let him know that wasn't going to be allowed.

"So it's all made out of COTS components then?" the Major asked hopefully. "It might not be that bad then."

"Well…" the Doctor was thinking trying to figure out how this man could possibly think the converter was made out of small temporary beds. "Ah… I'm not sure."

"Come on, is this made of things you can find commercially off the shelf or not?"

"Oh," the Doctor brightened. "They're not off the shelf to tell the truth. Off a table actually, a lab table to be more specific."

"A Lab? You got the parts out of a lab? There is no way you are more than a technology readiness level of five. You need to be at least a six to do operational testing. Do you even have a temp?"

Temp, the Doctor seized on that word like a drowning man, thanking the day Donna decided to travel with him. "Yes, I have a temp, a super temp in fact, an absolutely brilliant temp."

"Finally, it looks like you did something right at least. So where is this temp? Can you produce it?"

The Doctor gestured over his shoulder as he replied. "Well, they left her back at the school. I think she may be missing a shoe right now."

"Not temp! You moron! TEMP! T, E, M, P, Test and Evaluation Master Plan, surely you had to have one for your operational pilot. How else could you have gotten through your OTRR."

The Doctor put his hands to his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Yet again the TARDIS translation circuits failed him. He had no idea what an OTRR was or why this person assumed he had been through one. But he had no more time to waste here. The Sontarans would be launching their offensive any moment now.

He turned his attention back to the perplexing major. "Look, what will it take for me to get the converter back and be on my way? I really can't spend any more time here. I promise after I'm done I'll come back and do whatever the bureaucracy requires."

It turned out that was exactly the wrong tact for the Doctor to take. The major's face became red with anger as his eyes narrowed. "You must think I am a complete fool! I wasn't born yesterday you know! I am not going to fall for that one! That is all you people ever say. You're too busy now and you'll do what I need later.

"Then later you are still too busy and I am stuck with some piece of equipment and no support plan, no training plan, no means of disposing of it and of course no budget for developing any of those things, all while you are off taking bows for what a great job you did!

"I am sick of having to clean up the messes you people leave me with!"

The Doctor took a deep breath and once again he tried reasoning with the man. "You won't have to do any of that. I am going to be the only one to ever use it. It's just this one time and that's it. You'll never see it again. No problems for you at all."

"It already is my problem. I am getting flooded with inquiries about what the overall effects are of you igniting the atmosphere. The country you did it in is a signatory to the Kyoto Protocol. I'm the one that's supposed answer all those questions. It's not your phone that's been ringing off the hook is it?"

The Doctor was beginning to think he might actually see steam come out of the man's ears. "Uh, no, but can't you just tell them it's not a problem? Everything is fine."

"Without documentation to back that statement up?!! How's that ever going to work? Do you even have an impact statement ready or hemp?"

Hemp, now the guy wanted to know about hemp. Did he mean cannabis? The Doctor had to admit the man could stand to relax a little but he didn't think drugs were the answer. "I really don't carry that kind of thing on me and I definitely don't recommend it. Perhaps a nice pot of tea would help you settle your nerves instead."

The Doctor honestly didn't think the man's face could get any redder at this point, but it did. "HEMP. H, E, M, P Hazardous Emissions Management Plan. You know the thing you should have filled out before you released lord knows what into the atmosphere with this thing here!!"

With a sweep of his hand the Major knocked the converter off his desk. It landed with a stomach-turning crash on the floor in front of the Doctor. The Doctor could hear several of the internal components shatter with the impact. The outer housing itself had a crack that ran its entire length. He looked down at the abused device, his spirits sinking. It was useless now. And there were no spare parts for it. He guessed that was one of the points this major had been trying to make.

The major was ranting on, spouting off about how it was the people who ran the supply lines who were the real heroes. Without them there would be no operational readiness or mission effectiveness. Military operations were a success despite people like the Doctor and Colonel Mace not because of them.

As he heard those words, a new plan formed in the Doctor's head. He just needed the right lead in.

"Look, it's obviously not your fault," said the major as he started winding down. "You never received the training you should have had before you were turned loose in systems development. I need to speak to your CO. He's the one I should be straightening out."

"Well, I can see you do have a point there. In fact, if you have the time I would like to take you to see my CO. I am pretty sure he has never heard of any of this, but if you can show it will improve his mission effectiveness, I know he will be interested." The Doctor held his breath hoping the major would take the bait.


	3. Chapter 3

The major however, didn't seem as eager as the Doctor had hoped. He was an important man and important men didn't change their plans, they made other people change theirs. "Well, I have a pretty full schedule," he temporized. "Do you have a whip it coming up? Those are always a good place to start. I could make time in my schedule for one of those."

"Whip it?" the Doctor thought. He had assumed corporal punishment had gone out of style in the military for quite some time. How barbaric was this major? "I'm not sure we have those."

"Well I could observe a regular IPT, it doesn't have to be a working level one," the major replied reasonably.

The Doctor relaxed a little. What he had heard as 'whip it' was obviously a WIPT. He was getting the hang of this vernacular. That actually worried him a little, though he consoled himself that he still didn't know what an IPT was. "I don't think we have any of those either. Can't you just meet with him?"

"I don't know…" The major checked his computer. "It really is better if I have a chance to see one of your team meetings first. Then I would know just how large a problem I am dealing with when I talk to your CO."

"We don't have team meetings, hardly meet at all. In fact, I was just on my way to one of the few chances I get to meet with my CO right now and I really can't afford to be late. I may not get to see him again for six months." He had to get this man moving, there wasn't much time left.

"No meetings at all? Well I definitely need to talk with him then. How can I get on his calendar?"

"I could try to make an appointment for you, if one of your soldiers hadn't taken my electronic diary."

The major glared at the three enlisted soldiers in the office. "Why would you take this man's diary?"

"Sir, it doesn't look like a diary and it appeared he was trying to use it to open a locked door." The soldier who spoke up produced the sonic and handed it over to the major, who looked at it with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Is this something else your group has come up with that I have to support?" the major asked accusingly.

"No, no, don't worry; it's something I found on the Internet. was having a close out sale on them," the Doctor was quick to assure him.

"How is this a diary? I don't see a display screen."

"Oh that's easy, the light flashes the binary version of either ASCII or Unicode, whichever I choose. Here, I'll show you." The Doctor started to get out of the chair; he felt a hand on his shoulder and froze.

"It's alright, let him up," the major ordered.

The Doctor stood up and stretched, glad to be out of the uncomfortable chair. He put his hand out for the sonic. The major gave it one last befuddled look over before placing it in his hand.

"See, it's quite easy. I just enter the code of the person whose calendar I need to see and then it starts flashing." The Doctor was nervous. He really needed the major to believe this little bit of flim flam. The sonic flashed a complicated pattern.

"You can honestly understand that? Wouldn't something like this be easier?" The major pulled out a standard PDA.

"Yeah…but where's the fun in that? I like a bit of a challenge. Though, I hate to tell you," The Doctor shook his head and sighed as he looked at his sonic with dismay, "my CO really doesn't have any free time for the next six months, sorry."

He quickly pocketed his sonic and started to turn toward the door, only to find it blocked by two soldiers. He turned back to the major. "Look, the converter is destroyed, I'm not going to build a new one and my CO isn't going to be able to meet with you for six months. What possible purpose could you have for holding me? I need to get back and report what happened here."

"Can't you give me some of your time with him? I could be ready in five minutes."

"Well, I don't know." The Doctor shook his head and grimaced. "He's not one who likes surprises. Especially ones that he feels waste his time. It really might be better if you wait six months. Plus, you're already eating into my time with him by keeping me here. He's not going to be in a good mood."

The Major jumped up and proceeded to pull several three ring binders off the shelves, seemingly at random, but the Doctor was sure there was a reason for each one. "Look, I'll go with you. You can tell him it's my fault you're late. I'll take the heat for you if you just let me talk to him," the major said as he worked.

In no time at all there was a stack of binders almost three feet high on his desk. The major motioned to one of the soldiers. "Jones, here, you and Ramsey split these between you."

"Ah…no…no, no, no" the Doctor said holding up his hand. "We're going into a secure area and I don't want to be responsible for more than just one of you."

The major looked at the Doctor, eyes wide, embarrassed. "Oh…right…I should have realized." He proceeded to carry all of the binders himself.

"Are you sure all these are necessary?" the Doctor asked as he hurried the over burdened major out the door.

"Well I doubt I'll get to explain all of them, but since I know nothing about your CO, I thought it best I bring a variety of material. I would hate to get there and find out what he is the most interested in is back in my office. I really don't want to waste this opportunity. You haven't told me yet. What's his name and rank? I may have heard of him."

"I doubt you have heard of him. He is a general." The Doctor lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Can't tell you more than that, classified you know."

The major nodded quickly. "Oh I quite understand. I used to work for one of those kinds of projects. They are the worst. Always rushing about, starting the next job without properly finishing the first, making the same mistakes over and over again because no one stops to document them. With them everything is an emergency and half the time the emergency could be prevented it they just applied some REAL military discipline and took the time to do things right in the first place."

The Doctor smiled to himself. This just might work, if only they got there in time. "That is precisely what you need to emphasize with the general. That your way is the military way and all that other stuff you were mentioning, operational readiness and mission effectiveness. That kind of thing is what's important to him."

The major was about to reply as the Doctor opened the double doors to basement room that served as the Sontaran clone lab. What the UNIT officer saw caused him to stop in his tracks. "What is that? It stinks!" he said as he jerked his head towards the clone tank.

"Oh…that's just an experiment that didn't work out." replied the Doctor, relieved that the tank's previous occupant had apparently been removed from where she had lain dead on the floor.

"Do you even know how to properly dispose of the goop?"

The Doctor pursed his lips and shook his head. "Ahhh…no, never really thought about it."

The major groaned. "I'm getting here just in time. I can't believe your organization's incompetence."

"I wouldn't call us incompetent, we're just busy, which is why we need to get moving. Right this way." The Doctor indicated to the major to get into the Sontaran transport pod.

The major reared his head back as he looked at the round entrance to the device. "What's that?"

"It's a kind of elevator," the Doctor said with a quick smile and nod of his head. "Quite comfortable in fact, you barely know you're moving."

The major reluctantly entered the chamber as the Doctor proceeded to 'hotwire' the transportation pod.

"What are you doing?" the major asked.

"Nothing, umm, the controls are a bit dodgy and we haven't got the parts to fix them."

The major rolled his eyes as they dematerialized.

To his credit, the major didn't panic at the sudden change in location or the sight of Sontarans, who were deep into their war chant of 'Sontar Ha'. He instead looked around the command center, eyes wide and asked, "How am I supposed to support all this? None of this is listed in the official inventory!! And that was no elevator, that one of those sci fi transporter things wasn't it?!"

"Keep your voice down," hissed the Doctor, grateful the Sontarans were so mesmerized by the chant they had failed to notice the arrival of intruders. "The General is in the middle of one of his team building exercises. He hates interruptions."

"Oh, sorry," the major responded none too apologetically as he continued to glare over the top of the stack of binders at his surroundings and all the equipment he knew nothing about, frowning and shaking his head. "I've got a lot of work to do here, I can tell. This is worse than when they dumped the Valiant on me. Main weapon from an alien space ship. How was I supposed to support that?"

"Oh, I'm sure that must have been trying for you," the Doctor said sympathetically. "This is the Valiant's successor; I think most of it is based on alien technology." Major Hansen's expression was even more unhappy at this news as he set the binders down on the deck.

The Doctor went over to General Stahl's swagger stick weapon, which lay forgotten as the general led the war chant. The Doctor quietly disabled it, he then turned his attention to one of the control panels. The sonic hummed and there was a sudden shower of sparks.

"Doctor! You have returned!" General Stahl cried.

"Ah, yes General Stahl," the Doctor interrupted, leaning forward and putting on his best smile, as he talked over the top of what the General was going to say next. "I am so sorry. It seems the controls to the doors of the launch bays are broken." He looked back at the panel. "Fused in fact. You'll have to delay your attack I'm afraid. It's rather hard to land an assault force with no ships and only one personal transport pod working.

"Unless you have some spare parts," the Doctor said brightly. "I don't suppose you have any of those, do you?"

"Why would I worry about spare parts?" cried Stahl as he picked up his swagger stick, ready to use it on the Doctor, only to fling it aside when he found it was broken. "Is nothing working here?" he yelled frustrated. The other Sontarans held their positions waiting for orders.

"Well, what do you expect as sloppily as this place is run?" Major Hansen snapped, unable to contain himself any longer. "You call yourself a military outfit? You don't have support plans for any of this do you? Was the Doctor right you don't have any spares for your launch bay doors?"

Stahl, startled at the outburst, and responded to the question with disdain. "How would I know? I am a warrior."

"Hardly a warrior," Major Hansen answered. "There is more to being a warrior that taking a weapon, pointing it at a target and shooting. Any idiot can do that. It takes real military discipline to properly design and develop that weapon with all the supporting documentation, architectures and support plans in place before it is fielded. If you had done that you could be repairing your launch bay doors.

"Without that true military discipline you have no operational readiness, no mission effectiveness. Wars aren't won by the people using the weapons, they are won by the people who support those weapons and make sure they are working when they are needed. That's true warrior's work."

The expression on Stahl's face had changed from anger to curiosity. "What do you mean true warriors work? What are these things you speak of? How can they help us on a mission?"

The major warmed to his task. "Take this control console here. If you knew its mean time between failure, you could determine your sparing levels. You would have known to have the parts on hand and you would have someone doing the repairs right now.

"But instead you are going to have to wait until you are in a repair yard to fix this aren't you? And that's because of your incompetence."

"What! My incompetence!" Stahl roared. "I'll have you know..."

"You're the commanding officer here are you not?" the major responded before Stahl could finish his tirade. "You are ultimately responsible for this situation. It's your lack of military discipline and planning that has caused your current situation. You have a mission now that you can't complete, correct?"

"We had plenty of planning. Our operation was mapped out to the last detail," Stahl growled.

"Hardly the last detail if you forgot to plan for the support of the equipment you needed. You operations types are all the same, worried about using the equipment, with no thought to actually maintaining it and keeping it running. If you had that kind of discipline, you would have been able to complete your mission. Successful operations start with successful program management and support planning."

"Program management, what is that?" asked Stahl his curiosity piqued.

The major went over to his stack of binders and pulled one out. "That is where everything starts. It's when you plan down to the very last detail what your weapons system is going to do, what specifications it has to meet, the environment it will be used in all those things and more. If you had done proper risk management and sparing level analysis you would be completing your mission now. Now look here," instructed the major as he opened up the notebook in front of Stahl. "This diagram here shows your basic weapons systems lifecycle, see these V's?"

The major droned on. The Doctor quietly watched while more and more Sontarans became interested in this new military discipline as the major threw around terms like mission effectiveness, operational readiness, warfighter support and weapons system availability. Soon every Sontaran in the command center was listening to the major, who was handing out binders like candy to those who showed interest in a particular area of the discussion. Stealthily the Doctor retreated to the transporter and left the Sontaran ship.

"So, that's pretty much the story," the Doctor said with a sigh to Colonel Mace. "The Sontarans pride themselves on their military discipline and planning. Major Hansen showed them a huge area they had neglected. They won't be making any battle plans until they have mastered it down to the last detail."

Mace nodded. "You are right. We won't be seeing them again for many years."

"Oh, more than that I think. When I left the major was explaining something called an enterprise architecture, determining the segments and if NAF, DoDAF or MoDAF should be used. From what I could tell Stahl was intent on architecting the entire Sontaran empire complete with something called 'as is', 'transition' and 'to be' architectures. I think it will be a good millennium or two before they are finishing that to their satisfaction."

The Doctor paused and rubbed his chin. "I'm a bit concerned. I think I actually understood what I just said." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Well anyway, the brilliant part is, we won't have to worry about the Rutans either. The Rutans, seeing the Sontarans doing all this will steal the knowledge from the Sontarans and apply it to themselves."

The Doctor laughed. "Think of it, after 50,000 years of war, peace will break out between the Sontarans and Rutans because they will be too busy preparing for war, to actually fight it."

"But Doctor, isn't there a chance they might actually use all that to build better systems and come back even stronger?" Mace asked, concerned.

The Doctor pursed his lips and shook his head. "No, not really. I heard Hansen talking about iterative processes, program reviews, pre reviews, post reviews, external, internal and peer. The Sontarans will get so caught up in doing it perfectly, that they will keep reiterating those processes pretty much till the universe ends. I honestly think only humans are actually capable of accomplishing anything under this program management system of yours."

The colonel looked sheepish. "Actually most of us find ways to bypass the majority of it. I personally don't know anyone who has done everything the regulations require and had a weapons system that actually worked. Actually I'll take that back. I do know of a couple, but by the time they were ready for full scale production, they were obsolete. "

"Oh that's not good. Does Major Hansen know about that?"

"Yes, but he would never admit it," the colonel responded.

"That's alright then," the Doctor said, relieved. "And the Sontarans once they know a rule are loath to break it."

Mace looked up at the ceiling as he nodded his agreement. "I think you are right there from what I saw." He turned back to the Doctor, leaning forward slightly. "By the way, didn't Major Hansen realize the Sontarans were aliens?"

"No, to be truthful, at first he was so upset over all the new equipment he thought he had to support, he didn't notice. Then once he had them listening to him, I don't think he cared what they were."

"Wait a minute. You said you left him on the Sontaran ship. Surely he's not still there, is he?"

The Doctor took his feet off the console, leaned forward and stared at the floor, his folded hands falling between his knees. He chewed on his lip as the guilt descended on him. He really wished there had been another way, but he'd had no time. He had been ready to ignite the atmosphere in the Sontaran ship, blowing it up, taking out all the attack vessels and killing the Sontarans and himself in the process. When Major Hansen had broken the atmospheric converter he'd had to quickly come up with another plan. A hideously cruel one.

His throat tight, the Doctor swallowed hard and slowly looked up, meeting the gaze of the colonel, hoping he would understand. "I had to leave him. I needed to make sure there was someone there who would keep the Sontarans on track, not let them backslide until it is firmly a part of their culture."

The colonel's face hardened with anger and disgust, dashing any hopes the Doctor had for understanding or forgiveness. "Doctor, I thought you were a man of honor and principle at least. How could you do such a thing?"

The Doctor shook his head sadly. "I know, and I am so sorry. I really had no choice. I only have one thing to say in my defense."

"What could possibly be your defense for leaving Major Hansen on the Sontaran ship?"

"Well…it's not as if the Sontarans didn't deserve it," the Doctor replied hopefully.

The colonel nodded as he considered the Doctor's words. "You do have a point there."

The Doctor relaxed, breathing a sigh of relief. Mace at least understood. His relief however, was short lived, as the colonel spoke again.

"There is one thing Doctor."

"Yes," the Doctor replied cautiously.

"You wouldn't happen to know if before he was reassigned…" Mace hesitated before continuing, appearing somewhat uncomfortable. "Did Major Hansen manage to process my reimbursement check?"


End file.
